It’s 89 days and now I’m going through something different. I feel like I am floating or drifting.

I can’t seem to make sense of what is happening day to day or hour to hour. I loose track of conversations, I forget what I am saying, I have no impulse control. I kind of think everything is temporary, I always thought everything was temporary, but now I think things are going to be around for maybe 5 or 6 hours.

I find that everything reminds me of Kia. I find that I cannot talk about her without feeling so sad. I used to like to talk about her being alive with me or things we did. Now I am sick of it and it makes me feel terrible.

I feel like I am just not listening or getting the full story. I feel like I am asleep all day and all night.

I lost something large, and I did not realize the extent of it until I got over the shock of the loss.

Now I’m missing the woman that I had and the man I was when I was with her.

I’m going to try to create some space for myself in the short term so I can really recover from these new feelings.